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In Remembrance of a Special Daughter
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by Catherine Michaud,
Mother of Barbara Michaud
as told to Barbara Brabec
In time, we all must learn to deal with the loss of a loved one, but it’s especially
hard to lose one’s child. Here’s how one mother is working through her grief.
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On Wednesday, June 28,
2006,
I received a telephone call that every
mother dreads. A nurse at a local hospital told me my daughter, Barbie, was in a
serious motor vehicle accident and for me to come to the hospital immediately. I
asked what Barbie's condition was, but no further information was forthcoming.
The sad fact was that Barbie had died instantly of her injuries when the van
she was riding home from the sheltered workshop where she worked collided
head-on with a pick-up truck. The van driver and the two occupants of the truck
were injured. Barbie was seated in back and wearing a seat belt.
Her sudden death was a terrible shock for me to try to cope with during the
wake, church services, and burial. I silently kept asking God why Barbie died
while the others involved in the accident lived. My heart was broken, and
sometimes the emotional pain was almost too much for me to bear.
"Not my will but Thine be done" (Luke:22).
On Christmas Eve, a friend phoned me at one of my lowest points and said that
God has a reason for everything and some day I would understand. Our family had
always gathered on Christmas Eve, but this year Barbie wouldn't be with us. That
night, it was difficult for me to try to figure out God's reason.
"Blessed are those who mourn,
for they shall be comforted" (Matthew 5:4).
I started to attend weekly Bereavement meetings. I felt comfortable in the
living room at the Parish Center with all the others who had lost loved ones.
Everyone took a turn expressing their sorrow and how they were trying to cope
with their loss and begin a new page in their life. Some members of the group
became friends and visited each other and we all phoned members to ask how they
were feeling between meetings.
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Barbie was born with Prader-Willi syndrome, a genetic disorder characterized
by weak muscles and cognitive disabilities. With
a lot of hard work, she
overcame many of the obstacles caused
by her condition and had a strong spirit
and a bright, cheerful,
positive outlook on life.
Now I have someone in Heaven
to pray to who loves me, and every day as I pray, I can feel Barbie’s presence,
encouraging me to go on with my life.
She was a very special gift in my life,
and writing about her and her courage has helped me to go on without her.
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A special note from Barbara:
Having lost my husband, Harry, in 2005, I well know that each
grieving person needs time to get through the grieving cycle (at least two
years), and once past that point, we just keep on loving the ones we’ve lost. I
commune with my Harry every day, and also talk about him to others by sharing
one of his "Harryisms" or something funny he used to say. Remembering and
sharing the best things about someone we have lost is. I believe, a healthy and
positive way to cope with severe emotional loss.
If you haven’t yet visited my personal domain, you may find it uplifting to
read
my series of articles for widows and others who have lost a loved one, as
well as
my special remembrances of Harry--an
unusual man and an outstanding percussionist and musician who worked with
countless entertainers, bands and orchestras during his lifelong musical career.
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