Birth of the Blue Knight

Birth of the Blue Knight

by Shawn Smith

On awakening one morning in 2002, I decided I was severely depressed. In my mind, I was a diseased entity that had to be destroyed. I was at the lowest point of my life. Previously, doctors had placed me on anti-this and anti-that drugs to the point where my condition had dramatically worsened. I needed a total overhaul and it had to come from within; I had to help myself. I longed for death but feared it. I was always taught that, even in the darkness, there is light. Until this point in my life I had always been strong, but now I was afraid that if I stopped fighting, I would lose my soul.

For years, I had been searching for something that would give me a feeling of fulfillment in life. I refused to find solace in religion because of all the numerous creeds that exist. I poured myself into fitness, but was still lost. When I was diagnosed bipolar and my life plummeted to the bottom, I realized that finding a viable way to combine fitness, mental stability, and morality was the only way for me to survive. I instinctively knew I needed to somehow heal the embarrassment and mend the scars that existed on my soul from life experiences. Little did I know that my loving savior was working in my life, I can imagine Him looking down on me with tears in His eyes. Ever the patient Father, God was waiting for me to reach out both hands and give Him the reigns. In my stubbornness I kept trying to stand through my own personal strength (pride) I refused to give up. As Anna Rountree says she was told by Jesus Christ in her visit to heaven, "The loneliness you experienced is nothing compared to the heartache I experienced as I waited for you, seeing you run after all manner of idols to seek satisfaction. Year after year you dallied, and I grieved, waiting for you to realize that no one can, nor ever will, bring you life itself but me alone."

Understand, dear brothers and sisters, that God can only help when you give up—that is, give up doing it on your own and ask Him for help.

As I began my journey, I realized that I needed to serve my God in a way that would give me purpose and something to strive for. Being a hopeless romantic, I turned to the steward of nobility and chivalry in romantic literature known as the knight. I decided to mold my working table around what they were supposed to stand for, and, coupled with my own spin and interpretation, it became my order. I decided that my heart would know only virtue, my words and actions would defend the helpless, my might would uphold the weak, the words that parted my lips would speak only the truth, and my wroth would undo the wicked. This would be, and now is, my cause.

My Blue Knight Oath

When I took my oath, I knelt on the grave of my grandmother, one of the bravest women I had ever known. I adorned my body with the necklace that was hers, and a crested ring symbolizing courage that was given to me by my father. I thanked God for the three gifts I have received: my soul, choice, and life. In addition, I swore an oath that I would tirelessly uphold this cause, and I intend to do just that. The evil that exists in this world is begotten from the vices. Evil could not grow if humans did not condone it. The creators of this evil cannot hide, beat me, or ever again bring me to my knees.

Shawn Smith at the gravesite of his beloved grandmother.

Let there be no mistake . . . I intend to do everything within the power the Lord grants me to make individuals very aware of the evil that exists out there. If my beloved God will allow, I will make every step these evil individuals make a tough one. I hope he will not allow them to run, nor hide. I intend to found the Mavis Foundation to teach the knighthood and make their existence harder than ever. I intend to fight to save as many souls as God will allow. I have set the definition of the knight and a knight’s virtues in this book in hopes that others can find the place of peace I have found. Therefore, with that being said, I give you the knight’s order.

As a knight, God is calling me to battle, and I am answering. I know that without his goodness I have no voice, without his steadfastness I fall to sin, and without his guidance through the Holy Spirit, I have no answer on the battlefield with Satan and his demonic forces. As Paul tells us in Ephesians 6:10-18, I am strapping on the "armor of God," and Satan has nothing that can pierce it.

"But, dear friends, remember what the apostles of our Lord Jesus Christ foretold. They said to you, ‘In the last times there will be scoffers who will follow their own ungodly desires.’ These are the men who divide you, who follow mere natural instincts and do not have the Spirit. But you, dear friends, build yourselves up in your most holy faith and pray in the Holy Spirit. Keep yourselves in God’s love as you wait for the mercy of our Lord Jesus Christ to bring you eternal life. Be merciful to those who doubt; snatch others from the fire and save them; to others show mercy, mixed with fear—hating even the clothing stained by corrupted flesh" (Jude 1:17-22).

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